Why A Mother’s Reasons For Adoption Are No Reason For Guilt
Reasons For Adoption
Reasons for adoption can be many and varied, with the main one invariably being that the mother does not feel able to support the new born child. Many children, especially those born to single parents, are born into poverty, and the parents see no hope of the child having any kind of reasonable life, despite the state support which is available to them. Other children are born to single mothers who have a fear of the father, and who believe the child will come to harm if it is not removed from the area. There are also mothers with psychological problems who need to give up their child for adoption.
The major reason why young mothers need to give up children for adoption is simple poverty. There are still millions of people living below the poverty line, even in a developed country, and any mothers just feel that the child will have no hope of a life growing up in a deprived area, with no means of support other than relying on inadequate state welfare systems. The mothers believe, often with justification, that the child will have a better chance with another family.
It is not always poverty which makes a mother give up a baby, and even when poverty is a factor it is not necessarily the only one. There are many cases where the mother is genuinely frightened of the father, who may be absent and not satisfying any of the duties of being a father, but who may also be behaving violently and jealously towards the mother and the child. The mother may honestly feel that the only chance the child has in life is with other parents.
There are also children born to mothers who have psychological problems, and who will obviously be unable to bring up the child in a way which will give the child a chance. Many of these mothers are aware of this, and are perfectly happy to see the child given up for adoption knowing this. Others will need to be persuaded, and some will need to be forced to give up the child by a court order. Whichever the case, there is no doubt that adoptive parents will give the child a better chance of a normal life.
Whatever the reasons for adoption are, there is no need for the mother to feel any guilt in placing the baby with an adoption agency. The choice to give up the baby will have been made with the best interests of the child at heart, and this needs to be reinforced in the mind of the mother. This can be done by reassuring the mother that the agencies which place babies with new parents are all registered with the state, and that they have many families to choose from whatever the reasons for adoption.